Behind Blue Eyes
by sheshemarie
Summary: Set after Catherine has left Vegas to work for the FBI but she makes a little detour first...
1. Chapter 1

**I know this is completely different to what I normally write but it's for LilyStarbuck, my amazing friend and self appointed Auntie to my son lol**

Landing in Paris Catherine departed the plane and walked into the arrivals area, she scanned the crowd looking for his familiar face. She hoped that he would be there, he had said he would in his emails and she knew he was a man of his words, yet in the back of her mind was the little annoying voice telling her he was married and that she shouldn't be here. Not that he knew her reasons for being there; all she had told him was that she needed some time away, needed to clear her head before she moved onto her new job. He had been kind enough to offer his spare room in his temporary house; he didn't see the point in buying because he was moving around a lot due to his teaching. When his email had arrived with the proposition she had jumped at the chance, partly for the reasons she had told him and partly because she needed to see _him_, the reason her mind had been all over the place.

He was the cause of her breakup with Lou Vartann, she knew she had been using Lou to get her mind off the man she had loved for years and that wasn't fair, he was a good man and he did indeed deserve more, he deserved someone who loved him and not just as a distraction from the person she truly loved. So she had broken it off with him, only offering the brief 'you deserve more' and nothing else as an explanation, she didn't want to have the talk about how she loved another man. Sure she had liked Lou, had enjoyed their time together but he was a passing fling, a distraction, she had still been thinking about the one she let get away. And now here she was, in Paris and searching the thick crowd for the man in question, so she could finally get over him, or so she told herself.

Her eyes scanned past the guy in the light blue shirt and slacks and wandered onto the next person, it took her a couple of seconds and a double take before she realised the guy in the shirt and slacks was the person she had been searching for. Smiling she approached him and noted that time away had done him good; he had the little mischievous twinkle back in his eyes and the half smirk she had loved, the one that said he was a man of mystery. She knew as soon as he eyes landed on him and she felt that familiar surge of butterflies in her stomach that things weren't going to be as easy as she had initially hoped.

Walking up to him she put her arm around his neck and pulled him into a half hug, he in turn chuckled lightly and puts his arms around her waist and chin on her shoulder. "Hi Cath, good to see you."

She smiled and pulled back slightly and ran over the soft beard on his chin. "Hi Grissom."

**And that's all for now folks, review and I'll update sooner.**


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived at Grissom's apartment block a short while later, Catherine had spent the entire journey with her forehead resting against the window and watching the city speed by. She had always wanted to visit Paris and now she was finally getting the chance to fulfil a lifelong dream, and to make it even better she was getting to share this dream with someone she loved dearly.

She cast a glance to the man who was currently trying to haul her oversized suitcase out of the trunk; he let out a small grunt at the weight of it and gave it a final heave, managing to pull it out. It landed on the floor with a thud and he gave a triumphant smile.

If it wasn't for this magnificent man Catherine didn't know what she would be doing right now, he had helped her overcome so much she couldn't even begin to thank him enough. She just hoped that what she was here for wouldn't hurt him, she couldn't bear that. He had helped her overcome her drug addiction, without him there to coax her through it she would probably be buried six feet under by now.

Looking back of those hard times, when she would be too coked up to function and he would come over to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, she felt a swell of shame rise up inside her. She hated to think that he had seen that side of her, that horrible person she had once been. But on look at Grissom, he was tugging the suitcase along the sidewalk towards the building, when she didn't immediately follow he cast a glance over his shoulder. "Are you coming?" he asked with a small smile that was uniquely Grissom. As soon as she saw that smile she felt her embarrassment wash away, this usually stoic, anti-social, enigma of a man had remained beside her throughout the whole horrid ordeal and was still her best friend. He had never judged her, never made her feel worthless. Even when she had been beating herself up over what she had done to herself he would be there to reassure her that everything would be okay. He helped her through the dark, cold nights as she weaned herself off of the horrible drug, held her when she suffered from cold sweats and shakes. She recalled one particular night when she had been furious, she had called him all the horrible names she could think of, thrown various objects at him including a lamp in an attempt to make him leave her alone so she could go see her dealer, but he had stayed. He had remained calm throughout and sat on the chair by the door, he had made sure all the windows were locked so she couldn't even climb down the fire-escape. That night she had hated him, now she was extremely thankful that he had stayed.

He was like her guardian angel.

Somewhere along this long, rocky road they had journeyed together she had fallen in love with him. She hadn't known what to do with her feelings at first; she had been fresh out of a marriage and wasn't looking for love. But there it had been, right under her nose the whole time. She wasn't used to such feelings; normally the man would chase her and make her want him. Like Eddie had, he had flirted with her every night at The French Palace until she had agreed to go on a date with him. At first it had been wonderful, lots of sex, but once he had got a ring on her finger he had changed completely. She had always known he was a bad boy but she hadn't known he was a complete jerk until after it was too late.

So instead of acting on her feelings right away she had waited, waited for him to notice her as something other than a friend. But she had waited too long. He was married to Sara now and she knew what she had to say could possibly hurt more than one person but it needed to be done. To be able to move on in her life she needed to clear her conscience of everything and that including revealing her feelings to Gil Grissom.

So that's what she was doing, she was going to tell him her heart, body and soul belonged to him and then she was going to walk away. Move to Washington and start her life again with no hidden love, no burning desire for a married man. He would know how she felt and she would be able to begin getting over him.

Well that was the plan anyway.

However, seeing him again had awoken all the feelings she had tried to keep buried. Getting over him wouldn't be so simple.

She watched him struggling to lift the suitcase up the few steps that led to the block entrance; he had both hands on the handle and was tugging with all of his might. Snapping out of her walk down memory lane she jogged over to him and, standing next to him so their shoulders brushed, she helped him pull the heavy suitcase up the few steps.

When the suitcase bumped over the last step they shared a celebratory smile, Catherine could almost fool herself into believing that the twinkle in his eyes was something more than just the joy of achievement. But she knew that it couldn't possibly be true and shoved that kind of wishful thinking back inside the box labelled 'things that will never come true.'

Grissom hadn't noticed her momentary distraction and continued his little speech about the most efficient way to pack a suitcase; Catherine couldn't help the small smile that graced her lips. She had missed how he would get lost in his own little world of facts.

Grissom caught her smile this time and quirked an eyebrow. "What?" he queried.

Catherine let out a soft laugh and grabbed the handle on the suitcase and headed towards the doors leading into the building, pulling the case along behind her. Grissom remained in the same position watching her walk, he always found her confusing, especially when she would find something amusing and he'd question it but she would brush it off with a laugh similar to the one she had just used. That would leave him even more confused as to what was going on in that head of hers. Grissom was a man of facts, he liked to know how things worked but people had always eluded him. Sure, he knew the scientific facts regarding human nature but when it came to social situations he didn't have a clue. His mother had always told him he was unique, her special boy, but deep down inside he knew that was her way of telling him he was different to what society deemed normal. When he was younger some of the neighbourhood kids had often referred to him as a freak. He hoped Catherine didn't feel that way.

Catherine was the one person who's opinion he respected above all others, except his mothers, and if she thought he was a freak he didn't know how he would handle that. Not very well he assumed.

Well now wasn't the time to be thinking about such matters, Catherine was stood by the entrance calling to him to come and unlock the doors so she could go inside. He could tell by the impatient tap of her foot and the hand resting on her hip that she had been waiting a little too long while he took a trip inside of his own mind, he really needed to keep an eye on that. He didn't want to piss her off during her stay, it was supposed to be a time for them to reconnect after all this time he had been away, and he felt bad for that. If only he had tried harder to keep in touch with her, replied to her numerous emails sooner. But it had been too hard, part of the reason he had left had been his inability to keep himself in check around her, it had been getting more difficult with each passing day. Such as when he told her he had missed her tush, that had been a thought that had burst forth without his realising, it was only when she spluttered on her drink that he realised what he had said. He had been so grateful when Jim had interrupted the conversation with his arrival.

He jogged over to the door, slid the key into the lock and opened the door to the building; Catherine rushed in through the doors and sighed gratefully as she saw a fully working elevator opposite them. Pulling the suitcase along behind her she made a beeline for the elevator and pressed the button. "Thank god for elevators huh?" She flashed her radiant smile at Grissom as he ambled up beside her. Grissom smiled back and offered her a little nod in response.

When the elevator arrived, the doors opening with a soft ping, they both climbed aboard and Catherine looked at the panel of lit up numbers for the numerous floors in the building. "Which floor?" she asked with a quick glance to the man standing behind her leaning against the back wall.

"Seventh." Came his simple reply. Catherine pressed the button marked seven, the doors closed and the elevator started to make its way up the shaft.

The ride to the seventh floor was made in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The departed the elevator with Grissom now pulling the suitcase along, Catherine smirked and followed behind. "Ya know, I think pink really is your colour." Grissom's head turned and his mouth twitched to the little amused smile that was typically Grissom.

He didn't reply but she knew that he wasn't offended by her teasing; it was something she had always done. Sometimes he didn't understand and would start rambling on about some fact relating to the topic, others he would just offer her a little smile like he just did.

Reaching the door he unlocked it and pushed the solid wood open, Catherine strolled in and smiled. The place wasn't much different to his old place in Vegas. He had butterflies in frames lining the walls, books on shelves and some piled next to a soft leather chair which was clearly a beloved favourite of his. The floors were wooden with a soft rug in the middle of the lounge; she stood in the centre, kicked off her shoes and took in the environment she would be living in for the next couple of weeks.

Grissom smiled watching her make herself at home, normally he didn't like people in his personal space but Catherine just seemed to fit, like she belonged there.


	3. Chapter 3

After showing her to the spare room, which was situated directly opposite his own room and was decorated in a soft beige colour with even more butterflies lining the walls, he left her to unpack and settle in. From his position next to the little island in his small but adequate kitchen he could hear her soft voice humming and occasionally singing along to a song he couldn't recognise, he briefly thought that it must be one of the newer, modern songs. It certainly wasn't any of the classical tracks that he owned. He recalled seeing an iPod sticking out of her purse when he carried her suitcase to her room, she must be listening to music on that, he mused to himself.

The kettle finished boiling with a slight whistling sound, using the tea-towel he raised it from the hob and poured the boiling water into the mug of herbal tea he was preparing for himself. Catherine had declined his offer of a drink, opting instead to unpack, shower and sleep. Now it was 45 minutes later and from what he could gather she was still unpacking, he couldn't help but wonder if she had brought all of her belongings with her.

He blew gently on the steaming liquid in an attempt to cool it down as he turned towards the soft footsteps he could hear padding towards him, he smiled brightly as Catherine entered the room.

"Do you need the bathroom before I get in the shower?" She asked in her soft sweet voice.

Grissom shook his head softly and placed his mug back down onto the countertop. "You're more than welcome to use the bath if you'd like." Catherine's face brightened slightly at the prospect of relaxing in a hot bubble bath for as long as she could. Grissom noticed and smiled. "Go have a nice bath, I know you want too." His little nod in the direction of the bathroom made her smile.

Standing up on her tiptoes she gave his cheek a quick kiss. Afterwards she realised what she had done and quickly averted her eyes, she had acted out of instinct instead of thinking about what she was doing. She wasn't sure how Grissom would react to her affections; she had always kissed the guys cheeks at the lab. Kisses, hugs, that sort of stuff came naturally to her. Except with Grissom, she had always known he wasn't comfortable with people breaching his personal space and she respected that. Sure, they had shared the occasional hug in the past but it was normally due to the circumstances at the time, like his surgery to restore his hearing.

She risked a quick glance at him from the corner of her eye; his expression was one that caused confusion to bubble within her. Instead of his usual uncomfortable shuffling that she had come to associate with him and intimacy there was a quiet storm building in his eyes, yet he didn't look mad with her actions. He was actually smiling a little. What was wrong with him?

She decided the impending headache that would inevitably happen if she mused over her enigma of a friend for too long wasn't worth it she picked up his mug and with a teasing smile she sashayed her way to the bathroom. Chuckling at her stealing his drink Grissom shook his head and set about making another mug of the hot drink, he had missed her stealing his drinks, she did it all the time at the lab when they worked together.

Sighing softly in satisfaction Catherine sank further down into the tub and mountain of bubbles that surrounded her. At first she wasn't going to add any, thinking that they probably belonged to Sara but upon closer inspection she was a little shocked to discover that all the feminine bath products were the exact same ones she used and they were all still sealed, unopened. She knew that Sara didn't use the same brands as her; Sara went for simple, quick results whereas Catherine liked to indulge herself in exquisite, sometimes expensive brands. There was nothing wrong with treating oneself, she surmised.

In the end she had shrugged and decided that if Grissom had intended for Sara to use the products then she would replace them but right at that moment she really wanted to soak herself in the soft lavender scents and relaxing properties that the bath salts offered. So she had poured almost half a bottle of bubble bath and about a quarter of the bath salts into the tub.

The dimmed lights, soft music coming from her iPod and gentle lavender scents lulled Catherine into such a state of relaxation that she fell asleep with her head resting against the end of the tub.

Grissom had already guessed that she was going to be a while in the tub but when she hadn't emerged 2 hours later he was beginning to get a little worried, even the documentary about bugs of the Amazon couldn't hold his attention any more.

Picking up the remote he turned the TV off before making his way down the corridor to the bathroom. Reaching the closed bathroom door he knocked softly and called out. "Cath, you okay in there?"

He waited a few moments for an answer and when none came he gently knocked again as his other hand turned the doorknob, he gave the door a little push and was surprised to find it unlocked.

He stepped into the dim room and softly called her name again, when she again didn't answer he made his way over to her form lounging in the tub. Reaching the side he looked down at her, ignoring that little part of his brain that reminded her she was naked beneath the slowly disappearing bubbles, in HIS tub. The curves of her breasts bobbing like little islands in the water. He swallowed thickly and turned his attention to her serene face; he gently laid his hand on her shoulder and called her name again. "Cath."

Catherine jumped causing the water to slosh over the sides of the free standing tub and onto the tiled floor. "Gil?! What the hell?!" she cried breathlessly, her arms wrapping around her body in an attempt to cover herself.

Grissom had the good grace to take a step back, tuck his hands into his pockets and turn slightly to give her some privacy. "Sorry for scaring you, I got worried." He risked a glance in her direction, witnessing her attempting to use the remaining bubbles to cover her body. "You shouldn't fall asleep in the tub." He stated as he turned back to face the pale blue wall.

Catherine rolled her eyes at his comment and tried to reach for the towel she had hung on the heated towel rack, unfortunately for her it was just out of her reach unless she raised herself out of the tub slightly. Her gaze drifted to Grissom's back. "Are you going to stand there while I finish my bath?" Her tone was light, teasing but still Grissom fumbled his way to the door while making another comment about her falling asleep in the tub.

Just before the door clicked shut Grissom poked his head back in, his eyes closed. "If you're not out in fifteen minutes shall I just bring your blankets in here?"

Catherine giggled at his teasing and threw a sponge in his direction hitting him on the forehead making him jump at the sudden collision from the missile. Catherine laughed harder at the sight of Gil Grissom with bubbles on his face, water dripping from his beard and holding her pink sponge. It was a sight she wasn't going to forget any time soon.

He pouted his lips a little before they curled into his trademark smirk, the sound of her laughter made it impossible for him to be mad at her. He tossed the sponge back at her with a wink and left the room.

A short while later Catherine emerged back in the living room wearing black pyjama shorts and a yellow tank, her damp her clipped up. "hey." She called as she approached the back of the couch where Grissom was sat, very interested in whatever he was holding.

Stepping up to the back she tapped his shoulder, "Grissom?" Having not received an answer the first time she was worried his hearing was failing him again, how mistaken she was.

Grissom slowly turned to face her sporting a massive, almost childish grin. He slowly raised his hand to show her the tarantula crawling across his palm. "Cath meet-" He didn't get to finish what he was saying, Catherine's hand shot out and knocked his arm away from her making the tarantula fall to the floor which only caused Catherine to freak out more and let out an ear piercing screech as she jumped on top of Grissom.

Grissom let out a soft groan when she landed on him, her arms flailing wildly and head turning rapidly as she looked for the spider.

He tried to catch her flailing arms. "Cath, calm down."

"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down when that THING is on the loose?!" she shrieked making Grissom wince at the high pitch.

"At least get off me so I can find him." He mumbled as he tried to wriggle from underneath her.

Catherine sat in the back of the couch as Grissom crawled around on all fours trying to find his pet. "Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is." He dipped his torso lower to look under the couch. Catherine glared at his back but refrained from replying with a rather colourful comeback. "I can't see him, all your screaming must have scared him." He stood back up with a small groan and dusted his knees off with his hands.

Catherine's eyes widened with horror. "You have to find him!" she cried, her eyes scanning the floor rapidly.

Grissom waved his hand dismissively, not at all phased by the missing tarantula. "He'll come back."

"That's what I'm afraid of! No way am I going to sleep with that 8 legged freak on the loose!" she pointed her finger at Grissom.

"Cath," he sighed. "I've looked, he's hiding somewhere."

"Then I'll stay in a hotel."

"Don't be ridiculous." In Grissom's opinion she was overreacting.

"I'm not waking up with that in bed with me...oh god! I'm going to need all new things."

Grissom scrunched his face up slightly in thought. "Why?"

"It's probably crawling in my clothes, so unless you want to check all of my things I need to buy new because I sure as hell am not checking."

Grissom rolled his eyes at her antics, but secretly he thought it was cute. Not much scared Catherine Willows and to see her vulnerable side was a rare treat. And if he was completely honest with himself he liked the idea of being her hero, her knight in shining armour, maybe if he found the spider and saved her she would kiss his cheek again or possibly more...no. he chastised himself, she was his best friend, he wasn't supposed to think of her in such situations. Yet it was becoming more and more frequent.

He knew exactly when it was that he had started noticing her elegant beauty. He cast his mind back to that night...

It had been surprisingly cold for Vegas, everyone had been complaining about the weather, all nursing steaming cups of coffee in an attempt to warm up. Grissom had been camped out on the couch in the break-room, tea in one hand and crossword puzzle resting on the arm of the couch as he read over the clues, feeling just as miserable as everyone else. Until Catherine arrived.

She had breezed into the room, pulled off her black riding jacket; her white fluffy scarf was the next to go and her matching gloves and hat, her red curls bouncing against her shoulders. Unlike everyone else Catherine was sporting a huge toothy grin; she deposited her stuff onto the plastic chair and looked around at all the miserable faces. Her eyes settled onto Grissom and her smile brightened. It was at that moment that he had felt his heart jump upon seeing her for the first time.

She had looked radiant standing there in a green cashmere sweater, cream slacks that hugged her form making other parts of his anatomy jump when she turned around. He had never felt such feelings for her before and it was making him a little uncomfortable, even more so when she had plopped down next to him with a sigh and propped her chin on his shoulder to look at his puzzle, her red nose had brushed against his cheek making him jump slightly at the cold temperature. Being such a good observer she had noticed and had set about teasing him with her cold nose and hands making him squirm in his seat until he eventually got up and declared that work needed to be done.

Since that day he had found himself craving her presence and if he was ever lucky enough to touch or be touched by her his mind and body would react in ways that he didn't often allow it to work, from his carnal desires.

Catherine shrieking brought his mind back to the present. "What was that?! Gil, something touched my shoulder!"

Grissom smiled at her using his first name, not many people did that but he liked that Catherine felt close enough to him to do it. "There's nothing there Cath, it was probably your hair." He commented after checking her back and shoulder.

He looked up into Catherine's scared blue eyes and felt his heart pang for her, he didn't want her to be scared and he sure as hell didn't want her to leave. His hand brushed her arm lightly, reassuringly. "Don't worry Cath, I'll find him."

Her arm twitched at the unexpected contact and she felt her heart beat a little faster. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her out of control hormones and hoped he didn't notice the blush rising up her neck. "Will you check my things?" Her voice came out small, quiet making Grissom's hand tighten on her arm slightly.

He gave her a small nod and made his way to the room she was staying in. Her suitcase lay open and empty by the bed, casting his gaze around the room he decided to start in the right-hand corner and work his way around.

By the time Catherine had braved getting off the back of the couch and making her way to the bedroom he was already halfway through his checks, the closet was clear of any spiders and he was working his way through the drawers. He closed the drawer containing her socks, tights and stockings. His heart was pounding due to rummaging through her clothes in search of his beloved pet.

Reaching the next drawer he pulled it open, his eyes bulged and his breath caught. Staring back at him, almost teasingly as if daring him to touch them were Catherine's panties. Various vibrant colours mixed in with some whites and blacks, an array of cotton, silk and lace.

He ran his clammy hands over his jeans and nervously cleared his throat. Catherine's eyes bore into the back of his head from her crouched position on the chair. "What is it? Did you find him?"

Grissom shook his head but remained in the same position, almost frozen like a statue. His eyes greedily feasting on the sight of her various thongs, lace, frills and sexy silky pieces. Catherine leaned over the chair as far as she dared in an attempt to see what had captured his attention.

She huffed in irritation finding herself unable to see around his body. "Gil, what is it?" She whined.

He cleared his throat again and tore his eyes away from the drawer of treasures; he shifted slightly and turned to glance at her. "I...err...I don't think he's in here..." He stumbled with his words, a rare occurrence.

Now he had moved Catherine had a clear view of what had flustered him, she smirked and felt her stomach flip that her underwear could cause such a reaction in the normally stoic man.

She smirked to herself, quickly disguising it behind her hand in a mock worried gesture. "You don't know that, he could be hiding." Her intentions weren't completely out of desire; she was still scared of the escaped spider.

Grissom visibly gulped, his eyes flitting to the drawer again. "Cath..."

"Please Gil." Her begging voice pulled at his heartstrings, he looked at her with his dark eyes knowing that after this he would need some alone time to cool down before he embarrassed himself.

His fingers slowly reached out and brushed against a silky red pair sitting atop of the pile, he felt his lower regions twitch at the thought that he was touching something that had been so intimately close to Catherine. Taking a shuddering breath he gently hooked his fingers into the straps and was just about to pull them out to examine them when he felt little legs crawling up his calf.

He cast his glance down to his leg and let out a breath, he wasn't sure whether to be thankful for the tarantula saving him or whether to be angry at it for ruining his only chance of getting remotely close to Catherine's underwear.

Once the spider was safely back in his cage Catherine whacked Grissom on the arm making him jump and put his hand over the abused area. His questioning frown making his face look even more boyish.

"Don't you dare get that thing out again around me." Catherin scolded.

Grissom's frown turned into a pout. "Don't you like him?"

"No I don't." Catherine huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, making her breasts push up slightly.

Grissom's eyes flicked to them briefly, something that didn't go unmissed by Catherine, and he stuck his hands into his pockets. "I thought you'd like to play with him."

Catherine smirked seeing where his eyes had briefly wandered to. "Not him no, however there is someone I would like to play with." She winked teasingly and walked into her room shutting the door behind her leaving Grissom stunned.


	4. Chapter 4

Catherine lay in the darkness of the bedroom, the blankets pulled up around her chest with her arms folded on top. Her mind was buzzing with the events that had transpired since she had arrived in Paris. She mentally scolded herself for being such an idiot, she had allowed her resolve to slip and had acted inappropriately. Something that she had trained herself not to do over the years but seeing him again after so long had caused her to forget everything.

Her eyes wandered the darkened room and settled onto one of the framed butterflies barely visible in the darkness, she examined every little detail that she could see, she felt the sting of tears threatening to fall from her crystal blue eyes and in that moment she knew what she had to do.

Grissom was sat on his bed propped against the headboard, glasses on and reading the latest entomology journal when he heard the soft knocking on his bedroom door, he smiled slightly as he wondered what Catherine could possibly want at such a late hour. He called out for her to enter and watched with growing curiosity as the door opened and Catherine stepped, nervously, into the room. Her eyes were cast downwards and her hands twisted together in front of her, in the intimate dance of nervousness. Grissom frowned at her behaviour, put his journal on the bedside table along with his glasses and made to get up but Catherine's raised hand and soft voice halted him. "Stay there, please."

His frown deepened as the concern for his friend grew but he did as she requested and remained perched on the bed, his mind buzzing with what could have her acting so unusual.

Finally she looked up but didn't meet his eyes, instead they focused on an unseen spot on the wall behind him. Grissom watched her chest rise as she took a deep breath, seemingly to calm her nerves, then she started to talk rather quickly making it difficult for Grissom to follow what she was saying.

"I spologise for my earlier behaviour, it was inappropriate and unacceptable. I sincerely hope it doesn't cause any trouble for you and Sara." Grissom opened his mouth to reply, to reveal his closest kept secret but she carried on before he had a chance to utter a single word. "I will accept all responsibility." Her eyes cast down again and she suffled her feet, this was harder than she thought it would be. "I'm sorry."

Grissom didn't have time to respond before she turned on her heel and left the room, leaving Grissom even more perplexed than before the rather strange one-sided conversation that had just occurred.

He remained on the bed for a few minutes, trying to make sense of what had just happened before he got up and padded across the hall to the closed door of the room Catherine was staying in, He rapped his knuckles on the door and waited.

"I want to be alone Grissom." Catherine's quiet, muffled voice floated through the closed door.

The use of his surname caused his frown to appear again. Respecting her wishes he walked back to his own room, shut the door and sat on the edge of the bed. Something had happened in the past hour and a half that had caused Catherine to pull back from him, something had broken their closeness in much the same way it had broken before he left Vegas.

With his head still buzzing with questions and worry over his long-term friend he got into bed and closed his eyes and fell into a confused, broken sleep. At one point in his dreams he was sure he heard soft whispering, a few words were lost to the sandman but he did hear a musical voice that made his heart jump whisper goodbye, soft lips press a kiss to his forehead and doors closing. What a very strange dream.

He woke rubbing his eyes, thinking that his dreams had been very strange and confusing. He lay in bed for a while listening for any sound of movement in the quiet apartment, hearing none he decided Catherine must still be in bed, that was fine. It gave him some time to gather his thoughts and arrange the questions he had in his head, he also needed to make a confession to Catehrine.

After gathering his thoughts he climbed out of bed, put on his robe, opened his bedroom door and looked towards the closed door of the other bedroom. Quietly, so as not to disturb Catherine, he made his way to the kitchen and made two steaming mugs of coffee, added the cream and suger and stood for a moment drinking some of his as he prepared himself for the upcoming conversation. Half a mug later he picked up the other mug of coffee that he had made for Catherine and walked to the spare room, he used his foot to knock on the door before entering.

Using his elbow he carefully turned the handle and pushed the door open, blinking at the bright light streaming in through the open blinds. How could anyone sleep when it was so bright?

Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he focussed on the bed, expecting to see Catherine's slumbering form under the covers but instead he was met with an empty, made bed. In fact, the whole room was empty, exactly as it had been before Catherine had arrived. There were no suitcases on the floor, no iPod on the bedside table, nothing. Setting the mugs down on the bare desk he opened the closet and drawers, confirming his shuspicions that his dream had been real. He had heard Catherine bid him goodbye and leave.

With a heavy heart he dejectedly sat on the edge of the bed, one hand ran over his face as he tried to make sense of what had happened. His other hand ran across the pillows, searching for any remaining warmth, any indicator of her being there at all. He found no warmth but his hand did run over something hard and small, grasping it he picked it up and stared at the little red ladybug pin nestled in his palm, a shining beacon against the pale flesh. His heart broke at the sight and he closed his hand tightly around the pin, making it cut into his skin but he didn't care. He knew that such a simple act as leaving her pin behind meant that he would never see her again, he knew that she hadn't accidentally left it, she had intended for him to find it and know the meaning behind what she couldn't say.

He knew all of this because he knew how much that pin had meant to her, she had told him the day he had presented it to her 20 years ago...she had told him she would wear it always.

Closing his eyes tears trailed down his cheeks, he had lost his best friend, heart and soul.


End file.
